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This posting is dedicated in memory of Jeremy, who celebrates the one year anniversary of his Heavenly homecoming today.
Last year around this time, I was signing Sadie up for preschool at a local community center. While the director was giving me a tour, I spotted a poster that hung on the door, anchored with a pin and a blue ribbon. The poster asked for prayers, the picture of the precious baby boy tugging at my heart strings. I asked the director about it, wondering just who this little guy was. Her response took my breath away...he passed away two days ago, she told me. As I drove home I couldn't help but now notice all the blue ribbons tied up through town. The whole town was praying for this 6 month old baby.....how could something like this happen? When I got home I looked up the website that was posted on the flyer to see if there was anything I could do to help this family. Surprisingly, I found myself stuck to the computer for the next hour, reading entry after entry in this online journal of his battle for life. Two months of struggling to live, his little body fighting so hard against the infection that had taken over his heart. I could not fight the tears as I read the notes written by his mom and dad, their anguish in feeling his pain, while at the same time, counting on their faith in God to pull him through so they could bring him home.
As I turned off the computer, I looked at my little man, Simon, who was only 3 months old at the time. I couldn't fathom how a parent could walk into an ER expecting IV fluids for dehydration, to end up leaving the hospital 2 months later empty handed. How would I go on? How could I live without my precious baby? What would I do if something like that happened to Sadie or Simon.
Within the next few weeks, Jeremy's mom, Amy, began a blog to post her continuing battle with the grief of losing her son. I followed the blog, curious to see how she was going to carry on. The lessons that followed were unimaginable! Amy opened up her heart and soul to anyone who was willing to take the time and read about her journey through not only death, but life. Life after loss. Life day by day. Life with the Lord!
I wanted to take the opportunity today to honor Jeremy as well as Amy. Here are some of the things they have both taught me......
Life is short, eternal life is forever!
We want so badly to cling to the things of this earth with all our might,
in fear they will drift out of our grasp and we will lose them.
However, God reminds us that even though our lives here
are but a breath, our eternal life will never end! It is truly where we belong.
We want so badly to cling to the things of this earth with all our might,
in fear they will drift out of our grasp and we will lose them.
However, God reminds us that even though our lives here
are but a breath, our eternal life will never end! It is truly where we belong.
We are not in control, but thank God that He is!!
Oh, how hard it was for a mom to watch
her little helpless baby suffer
and not be able to take that pain away from him.
How hard it was for her
to let him go, when his time came.
How hard it is for her to give up the desire to control
her life and everything she holds dear! Take heart!
How wonderful it is that He is in ultimate control!
Hard to believe He's in control, when things such as this take place.
However, I've listened, watched, and learned through Amy
in this past year that He always wins. She has conquered the
enemy over and over again when he has attempted to steal her joy.
This only comes from a heart that worships the Father of all creation!
Thank you, Amy, for being a beacon of light, hope, and strength.
Sometimes we need to be broken to our core,
to be made new in Him!!
One of my favorite blog entries of Amy's
detailed her realization that she
was being made new in Christ.
Just as her wilting plant needed
her to dig up the bulb, break it in pieces,
and plant them again, Jesus
had to do that with her heart.
Through the suffering and pain she has experienced,
her inmost being has been broken, yet is
also growing in a new direction. She is facing the light of the Son,
looking to Him for her everything. That, my friends,
is the best lesson in life! Though I know from experience how
painful it is to be "broken to your core", I can also
testify to the amazing mercy and grace
that comes with being made new!
Life is a marathon, not a sprint!
Amy spoke in her postings many times about Jeremy running
a marathon, of sorts, as he fought for his life.
There were days that they spent
hours watching and waiting to see if he would pull through to
the next leg of the race. It got me thinking about how our
lives are also like a marathon but so often we
just want to sprint and get each stage over with. We face
an uphill battle, and rather than taking it slow, we attempt to
get it over with quick and painlessly.
Only finding then that our energy
and strength is spent on that first half of the hill.
We look up at what we have left to run and feel like giving up,
surrendering to the battle that has seemingly overcome us.
What we fail to notice is how much of the
battle we have already won!
Halfway up the hill means we are almost to the top!
We also fail to dip from the wellspring of God's strength
when we need it the most.
When you're running that marathon and are offered a drink
from the sidelines, take it!
When you feel like you just can't go on,
listen to the cheers of those on the sidelines,
telling you how great you are doing.
Most importantly, keep you eye on the finish line
and the One who stands to meet you there.
We are not meant to run this race alone,
He is our coach and trainer, after all!
Oh, how hard it was for a mom to watch
her little helpless baby suffer
and not be able to take that pain away from him.
How hard it was for her
to let him go, when his time came.
How hard it is for her to give up the desire to control
her life and everything she holds dear! Take heart!
How wonderful it is that He is in ultimate control!
Hard to believe He's in control, when things such as this take place.
However, I've listened, watched, and learned through Amy
in this past year that He always wins. She has conquered the
enemy over and over again when he has attempted to steal her joy.
This only comes from a heart that worships the Father of all creation!
Thank you, Amy, for being a beacon of light, hope, and strength.
Sometimes we need to be broken to our core,
to be made new in Him!!
One of my favorite blog entries of Amy's
detailed her realization that she
was being made new in Christ.
Just as her wilting plant needed
her to dig up the bulb, break it in pieces,
and plant them again, Jesus
had to do that with her heart.
Through the suffering and pain she has experienced,
her inmost being has been broken, yet is
also growing in a new direction. She is facing the light of the Son,
looking to Him for her everything. That, my friends,
is the best lesson in life! Though I know from experience how
painful it is to be "broken to your core", I can also
testify to the amazing mercy and grace
that comes with being made new!
Life is a marathon, not a sprint!
Amy spoke in her postings many times about Jeremy running
a marathon, of sorts, as he fought for his life.
There were days that they spent
hours watching and waiting to see if he would pull through to
the next leg of the race. It got me thinking about how our
lives are also like a marathon but so often we
just want to sprint and get each stage over with. We face
an uphill battle, and rather than taking it slow, we attempt to
get it over with quick and painlessly.
Only finding then that our energy
and strength is spent on that first half of the hill.
We look up at what we have left to run and feel like giving up,
surrendering to the battle that has seemingly overcome us.
What we fail to notice is how much of the
battle we have already won!
Halfway up the hill means we are almost to the top!
We also fail to dip from the wellspring of God's strength
when we need it the most.
When you're running that marathon and are offered a drink
from the sidelines, take it!
When you feel like you just can't go on,
listen to the cheers of those on the sidelines,
telling you how great you are doing.
Most importantly, keep you eye on the finish line
and the One who stands to meet you there.
We are not meant to run this race alone,
He is our coach and trainer, after all!
As Amy and her family remember this day last year and struggle to get through the painful memories it may bring, I ask that you pray for them. Pray for their faith to be strengthened, their hope to endure, and their joy to overcome.
Amy, I thank you for the gift of your friendship and your open heart for all to learn from. Who knew when I saw that flyer a year ago I would end up not only making a new friend but also have my hope, faith, and joy in the Lord made new again through your words! I can't wait to meet Jeremy when we get to our own homecoming celebration!!
Several of the songs I have added to my playlist were inspired by the lessons I have learned through Amy and Jeremy this past year. Specifically numbers 3-6 are songs that really spoke to me in this situation. I would especially like to dedicate the song, "I still believe", as I first heard this song on Amy's blog and found myself in amazement of her strength. To this day, Sadie calls it "Jeremy's song" when she hears it because it was usually the song that would play when I would pull up the blog. Ironically, the artist that sings the song is also named Jeremy! For that reason, this song will always be "Jeremy's song" in my own heart as I think it truly speaks to the biggest lesson of all that he taught us. Believing! Enjoy your celebration in heaven today, little man! Take heart, we still believe!
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