Dusting off my roots

I sat down today at my computer to work on my budget, check facebook, etc. Next thing I knew I found myself reading over some of these old postings that I had written on here. Where on earth did that girl go? What has happened to her? Then it hit me... I went into my bedroom and found the reason I felt that a big part of me has been missing. It's always been there, it's just been a little quiet for the past 2 years. I picked up my bible and an unfinished Beth Moore study and decided once and for all that I was going to get back into the word to find that girl again. The one who lived with such passion for the Lord that I couldn't help but share it with others. When I looked down at my bible it all came so hugely clear to me. My bible had DUST on it. Oh dear....NOT a good sign!! I chuckled a bit but also was saddened too. In the past I had always been so fervently in the word that this precious book didn't sit still long enough to gather dust. However, in the midst of some heavy trials of my life, I have let it go to the wayside. I've pushed it away a bit even. Well today is a new day. He has opened the eyes of my heart enough to see the dust on the roots of my soul. He's begging me to come to Him and listen daily, as I always used to do. Not just to believe in Him, but to Believe Him. Believe what He says, believe His promises. How I live is so important to me that I am going to stick to this decision to be stronger in the word again. I know without a doubt that this will bring back that girl I once knew. Take a minute to listen to the song on my playlist at the bottom of the page called "How You Live". It is a great song to remind us of what truly matters in life. Dust off those pages guys....there's so much valuable stuff in that book!!!

How the Years Go By!

I helped a dear friend move in to her new place this weekend....made me feel a little old since I used to be her babysitter from the time she was 3 and she's now 24! How the years have flown! As we unpacked boxes and shared memories of her childhood, it brought me back to the very time that I moved myself down to Maryland to start my new life. I was filled with so many emotions, as I know Connie is as well. Excitement mixed with fear, apprehension mixed with knowledge of possibilities, and joy mixed with sadness. I had walked away from the only place I ever knew and entered a whole new world all by myself. What on earth was I thinking?? That went through my mind on more than one occassion. I clearly remember going through a box of tissues every weekend as I longed to go back to the place that was filled with so much comfort and familiarity. At the same time though, I was grateful for a chance at a new life, a chance to get past those old hurts of my childhood. A chance for me to become who God was longing for me to become. A chance for me to be all that He wanted me to be. At the time, 12 long years ago, I had no idea where the road would lead for me. Looking back today, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God brought me here with good reason. Many many good reasons. To name a few....starting my career as a teacher, developing the future home of my family- my mother and sister, meeting the father of my two beautiful children, and finally finding the job I've waited so long for. I know some of my fellow co-workers may find it hard to believe that I'm in the job of my dreams, but once you've experienced life in other places and different jobs, you'll know what I mean. Don't get me wrong, I did not come to this place easily. There were many bumps in the road, twists and turns, some more painful than others. Yet as I said 12 years ago when I sat down to plead with the Lord to take me back home, I will say the same today, "Father do not remove this thorn from my flesh for it is there for a reason." Even though moving was so bittersweet and often felt like a thorn in my side, it was the best thing that ever happened to me as it has brought me so many blessings in life.

So, Connie, as you deal with moving from those you love so much, just remember that you are here for a reason. You will make it through. Focus on becoming the woman that you are meant to be and strive towards the goal that God has placed in front of you. You are a strong woman and I know you will be able to find the joy in every blessing that comes your way. Take a listen to the song on my playlist called "Moving On", by Rascal Flatts. It was my theme song when I left Syracuse and still makes me smile to this day. Love you sweetheart!!

Revisiting the Blog world!

Well, I've been absent for awhile now so I thought I should get this started up again. I love having the opportunity to share the things I am learning and also to look back on the things that I have shared in the past. It's a reminder to me of the heart for the Lord that I want to continually strive for.

This morning I dove back into my devotional on mercy. Amazing how the lesson is so closely tailored to what I needed to hear. Here is a snip of what I read....

".....when I come to the Lord after I've blown it, I've only one argument to make.

It's not the argument of the difficulty of the enviroment that I am in.

It's not the argument of the difficult people that I'm near.

It's not the argument of good intentions that were thwarted in some way.

I come to the Lord with only one appeal, HIS MERCY.

I've no other defense.

I've no other standing.

I've no other hope."

-Whiter than Snow, Paul David Tripp

So often when I screw up, whether it be in the eyes of the Lord or the eyes of man, I am quick to jump on the defense. I want to defend my reason for doing what I did. I want to make excuses for myself. I want to be right!!! However, what is more important is that we recognize our downfalls and challenges and try to turn them into the righteousness that God desires in our lives. He doesn't want to hear my excuses or ramblings any more than the people in my life do. He wants me to come to Him humbly in realization that I NEED His Mercy!!!

This morning as I reflect on a discussion I had with a very precious person in my life, I think of how I was in the position of needing his mercy as well. I messed up. I overreacted......such a simple sin...but sin nonetheless. My sin caused hurt, embarrassment, and strife. So I appealed to the mercy of this person in hopes of finding forgiveness, which he granted. I did not deserve that forgiveness. I did not earn it. I had to ask for it, humbly, putting my pride aside, admitting I was wrong. He chose to grant forgiveness because he is a man of God and a man of integrity. Had I been in the same position with someone who did not have such mercy, I don't think things would have worked out so favorably for me.

Just as we need to request forgivess and hope for mercy from those around us, we need to do just that with our Lord and Savior. We also need to thank Him for his forgiveness, as we know it has been granted to us. Just as it tells us in Psalm 51:1, "According to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions." His mercy is abundant friends! This is good news! Doesn't mean we can throw caution into the wind and live a life of sin, riding on His mercy. It just means that in our journey of trying to live a righteous life, we can rely on the fact that His mercy will always be enough. No matter how much we screw up, His mercy is ABUNDANT!! It is overflowing. He waits to take us into His arms and wrap us in His mercy and love. We just need to come to Him. Approach the throne of grace my friends, it is overflowing with mercy!!

New every morning

The unexpected snow day brought along another delivery....my new devotional, "Whiter than Snow". I took some time to read the introduction to the book as I'm so excited to dive into my journey with Mercy. The very first page was the first to catch my eye,

"I have lived it and I know that it is true....Your mercies are new every morning!"

What a great reminder. When I go through this life and time and time again mess up in ways that I know to be sinful, I beat myself up so much. I ask myself why I can't seem to get it right. Why can't I live a life that is pure and blameless and holy in His eyes? Why is it so hard for me? The answer was right there on the first few pages of this book. I'm hoping the rest of the book speaks to me just as these words have. Maybe they will help you make sense of some things too....

"The characters of the Bible, even the ones we tend to think of as heroes, were broken and

flawed people. They, like us, were all sinners and , like us, needed to be rescued by God's

grace. 'Rescued from what?' you might ask. Just like us, they need to be

rescued from themselves......When you read about David and all the war between nations that surrounded David's reign, it would be tempting to think that David's biggest

enemy was the warring nation around him. But what this story (Psalm 51) demonstrates

is that David carried his most powerful enemy around with him.

The enemy is called sin." Paul David Tripp

Wow! No matter how many times I am reminded of the great enemy we have in sin, I am amazed at it's power over us. What is so important to remember though, is that God's mercy and grace triumph over our sin! He is there waiting for you with open arms, mercies new EVERY MORNING, forgiving and wiping the slate clean. I don't know about you but that relieves me of so much burden I had carried around from my past. Every morning God greets us with love and says, "Today is a new day. Let's live it to the fullest!" Just remember that, and live it for HIM!! Don't take His gift lightly. He paid for it with a heavy price. He gave the life of his own Son so that His mercies could wipe you clean as snow! Look at the snow outside and see how white it is. Your soul is that white and pure because of his mercy. Take it and rest sweet one!