Listening to the Voice

As many of you already know, I have recently begun the process of applying for jobs. I have spent the last 4 years as a private tutor so I could make my own hours, work less, and be home with my children. Though God has used this business in many great ways during that time, I reached the conclusion within the past few weeks that it's season is coming to an end. As I'm sure you can understand, this has been a VERY hard decision for me. Let me back up a little bit just to help give you a bigger picture.

Throughout my teaching career up to this point, I have had the opportunity to interact with many different people in a large variety of environments. In my last full time job, I would go into childcare centers to observe children that were having a difficult time and provide feedback for the teachers. Though I met many wonderful teachers and childcare providers at the time, I was able to draw a conclusion for myself that guided me with my own children. I saw how critical those early years are for development and how important it is for us as parents to have as much of a role as possible. For that reason, Ray and I made the decision then that when we decided to start a family, I would aim to stay home with them. What started out as "I would like to stay home with our children", soon developed into, "I WILL stay home with our children." For one reason or another the Lord had weighed it heavy on my heart that His intention for our family was to have me be a stay-at-home mom, at least for a time. I realized I was fortunate to have the opportunity to explore tutoring as a source of income so that I would be away from the children as little as possible. Not all parents have the option to stay at home, and I have seen how difficult this can be for those of you who feel torn between your job and your family. My encouragement to you is not to be disheartened at the place God has put you. I truly believe it is the quality of time you spend with your children, not the quantity!

Which leads me to my next season of life. Over the past year, I have noticed my tutoring business beginning to really struggle. Blame it on the recession, if you will, but I choose to believe that it simply is time. Time to change my focus, time to move forward, time to begin a new chapter of my life. God has given me this year to reveal to me a variety of reasons why I should no longer continue working from home. It has taken quite a bit of coaxing, and encouragement from my family and friends, but I have finally made the decision to return to teaching!

Even though I know this decision is from the Spirit's guiding, I still struggle with those little doubts in the back of my mind trying to talk me out of it. I heard the song, "Voice of Truth", the first one on my playlist at the bottom of this page, one day as I drove around to my different appointments. I could not believe how accurately the song depicted the battle I was currently facing! Don't you love when that happens? The enemy, or "giant", called out my name and laughed at me, reminding me of the struggles I had in my first teaching job. "You'll never win. You'll never win," he told me. He made me feel I would be failing my children if I chose to leave them, even with family, to return to the calling I believed the Lord had for me. The same enemy that tried to convince me not to leave my job to stay home in the first place, was now changing his lines to fit my current decision. Then it dawned on me.....no matter what I decide to do in life, when I have taken my guidance from the Lord, the enemy is going to be there as well. He will be whispering in my ear trying to make me change my mind. You know why? He doesn't want me to do anything that is for God's glory!! It takes away his defeat of me! Well, guess what, satan...you lose again!!

I ask for your prayers as I face the next challenge in this step which is actually finding a job. Pray for my diligence to continue looking for and applying to jobs. Pray for my discernment to know which job may be for me. Pray for my patience, to simply wait on the Lord and allow Him to guide me to where He wants me. Most importantly, pray that I will continue to listen to the voice of truth....He tells my story and knows where it goes!